Loving Again- Lovey
Lovey is almost 4 months and I realized today that she not only reminds me of Hero, coming to get me off the computer to go to bed, but of Hope when she coos and snuggles, Cookie when she is all wiggly and tries to do a somersault pushing against me, Chubba when she goes under the covers and of course Hadia who she learned how to go out and potty, jump in the car and all else in the one short month they were together. She is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. She is happy all the time. Friendly to all. Silly. Woo woos me. I didn’t know I could love yet another dane, especially after Hero. She is herself. She is not Hero nor Hope. She is Lovey, with her own personality traits. Like how she throws herself at the couch with only her front legs and the rest of herself hanging behind. How she runs and almost intentionally tumbles over herself, gets up and does it again. How she pounces on imaginary things on the couch. How she comes and sits outside the open door to the computer room, just to remind me that “aren’t I suppose to be working with her”. And especially the time, recently that she came in twice, and I followed her to the bedroom, lifted her on the bed, and went back to the computer. The third time, she came in, climbed up to my shoulders with her big front paws, wrapped them around my neck, looked straight into my eyes and gave me a big kiss. I said, “What do you want?” I followed her back to bed, but this time I lay down next to her. She did her wiggly thing and threw herself down next to me with a heavy sigh. That’s what she wanted. It’s a new beginning, and I’m in love.
The New Beginning
There would be no beginning without an ending. The endings were shocking, sickening and devastating to me a dog lover. I couldn’t accept the fact that Hero, who was an extension of me, was truly gone? That he would never lie on my feet in bed? That the day wouldn’t totally revolve around him, even holidays? That he would never take my arm and lead me to the frig or the couch? The thoughts of him not being here made me sick to my stomach. I watched every video I had taken from the time he was 8wks to 6 years and especially the one Jenni and I made right after his diagnosis. Then Hadia died 2 months later. Poor Hadia. She suffferd so. It was so unfair to both of us.
Then I read a story about a soldier that had to leave his dog of 6 years with the local dog rescue. If the rescue received notification that he had died, they were to adopt out his dog. It was very touching. It caused me to think, how blessed I was to be able to say goodbye to my dogs at their passing. How sad it would have been for Hero, had I gone and not come back. (He suffered so when Haply and Hope died). This was a new way to look at my loss, a different view, a view from the perspective of my dogs. The awful decisions I had to make for Hero and Hadia were a blessing for them. I now see it differently. Something to think about, it could have been so much worse for them. And I wouldn’t have wanted them to go through what I went through, the missing part, the longing part, the ache. It could have been that way, but it wasn’t.
And there would have been no beginning with Lovey. I would have never known her. She will touch lives too, just as Hero did. She met Butch today and helped to bring him out of his depression and loss of his sister. Lovey is such a friendly and happy girl, reminding me of Cookie. I haven’t had to discipline her much, but when I do, she just walks away and sits and looks at me, with sad eyes, saying,”Im sorry Mommy” She is a very fast learner. I sure love her already.
I just gave Lovey a choice between two chews. She chose both. More later………….